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I'm a Woman Why Can't I Orgasm

A woman's erotic pleasure and ability to orgasm is dependent on the absence of fear which is generally a result to what she experienced before her first consensual sex act, either through innocent play, abuse in all its many forms and or rape. 

Some women accidentally are victims  of their own hand by unintentionally causing their first orgasm, the power of which may include the loss of mental and physical control, leading to a shock to the mind causing the nerve sensors to essentially turn off so that future nerve impulses are read by the mind as pain and stopped immediately.

What occurs in self abuse above is essentially the same as what occurs in physical abuse, sexual abuse and or rape. In many of these cases, the abusers makes perfectly clear to the victim, that the abuse was her fault because "she made me do it." In far too many cases, the abuse generates a traumatic shock to the brain of such magnitude that the brain erases the memory of the event, and treats any further stimulation as pain. This result is commonalty known as "Post Traumatic Shock Disorder" (PTSD).

Some forms of abuse can become addictive and are passed down from family to family, and cause the abused to only seek abusive partners since they equate abuse with love. No matter how the woman arrived at the point where pleasure registered as pain, in most cases, it is reversible provided the fear is addressed before it becomes embedded in her mind. That condition will require professional help.

If you experience pain during sex, can never get enough sex, or find yourself ending sex because you find yourself on the verge of losing control then in some cases, you can self correct the problem by talking it out with your partner to the extent he understands and most of all, you trust him to take care of you, as your first real orgasm can be a very scary ride.

Female orgasms are much more important than the male variety because they release excess energy generated by their hormones to permit them to perform their role of mother, wife and worker, which energy is far greater than that created by the male hormone. Nature provided the female orgasm as a release for unspent energy, much like a pressure cooker.

Failure to release built up pent up energy is not good for woman's mental health as i believe it is principally responsible for addictions to food, alcohol and drugs, ending in depression and or migraines each of which is predominantly a female issue rarely observed in men.

Gentlemen, if you love her, make her trust you as the quality of her life and your relationship depends on putting her needs first. Sport fucking is not a healthy alternative for a woman who can not orgasm.

What Men Know that Women Do Not

Men enjoy one tremendous advantage which woman do not, they know how to cum, and demand their partner address their need first. However, once mans need is addressed, its game set match point, in other words, man is finished. While basking in the glow of his triumph, the thought rarely enters his mind that your pleasure does not match his, and is often heard to day, how great it was, never dreaming, she has no idea what he means.

The creator had a sense of humor  when he created mans penis to grow outward while woman's vagina grew inward. Therefore, it is crystal clear when man mind is totally invested in preparation for sex,  Women on the other hand do not demonstrate such clear visual symbols, and even when they do they still beg the question, how much is she ready. 

Unlike man, each and every woman's preparation is different and can be impacted by so many different outside forces. There is no substitute for knowing your female partner if your intentions are a relationship larger than the moment. Assuming your partner is one of the very few women who have never been abused physically and or mentally, your best guide to her level of preparation is enlarged nipples, clit and significant lubrication. The presence of these signals only means she is ready for intercourse, but not necessary ready for orgasm.

A man who cared about his partner, would invest whatever traditional time was required in whatever means necessary to bring her to orgasm. Orgasm, not being defined by what she say's but by a complete lack of muscle control and uncontrollable body movements. The little additional investment in her pleasure will make a significant difference in your enjoyment as the shyeer view of most womens real orgasm will ignite an almost immediate response in her partner.

Men need to keep in mind, rare is the woman who does not fake her orgasm, one because she knows you do not care as long as you get what you want and two the orgasm might lead to an unintended investment in you, her partner.

 

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Equal Orgasm  Rights for Women

The struggle for equal rights for women in the work place has made significant enhancements to the financial resources of women. While not equal as we speak, its slowly moving along. This historic agenda as great as it was ignored two fundamental issues important to women.

The first, clearly obvious is women are not men, do not think like men even as they reach the identical conclusions as a man.  Too many women got the impression that equal rights for women meant they had to be like men to succeed. Emotionally, far too many women paid a stiff price for that choice as they entered their 40's and suddenly realized, something was missing, children and or a sense of family.

In the bedroom however, perhaps the only real change was women were no longer inclined to fore go sex until marriage, and many have chosen to live with their partners without marriage, Equal rights in the work place seemed to translate into equal rights in the bedroom of did it.

Women process energy differently than do men and therefore need to achieve orgasm on a regular basis to maintain sound emotional health. The energy which women derive from their sex hormones while different than that of a man, is also more intense and measured where family responsibilities are concerned. Men on the other hand while stronger than women tend to not have the endurance which women enjoy over the long haul.

In the bedroom, men seem to believe they are king, and therefore deserve to use their woman and roll over to sleep, with the satisfaction that their women is satisfied because her man is pleased. All women know, that is not true, yet virtually all are afraid to admit that to their partners, for fear of treading on the fragile male ego.

Sexual satisfaction for women is far more complex than man and requires a partner who understands her needs, First of all, female orgasm is complicated by a basket of fears beginning with social religious constructs, bullying and by abuse and or rape  some of which she may not remember due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), so if your partner wants and desires a healthy sex life, then sex does not begin in the bed room, rather at the kitchen table where fear can be put on the table and understood. 

Sex is all between the ears and if that is not successful, there will be no transmission between her legs other than to make you believe there was. Therefore, understanding any and all issues which might impact her sexual pleasure should be talked about asap. Any woman who tells you sex is painful, or she can not get enough are both signs of hidden issues, most of which can be resolved with patience and trust.

Having reached an understanding of her history, it becomes the responsibility of the male partner to gain her confidence  to a level of trust sufficient to permit her mind to enjoy the erotic experience. Recognizing, this is not always easy to achieve, it is still necessary for both her mental health and the relationship. The male must understand it is his responsibility to  bring her to orgasm, and her pleasure must always come first.  Once she is satisfied his need can be completed in a very short period of time.

Nature created the orgasm in women, not because they were responsible for reproduction, but as a natural mechanism to release the excess energy otherwise unused. To the extent that energy is not discharged frequently, it builds tension sufficient to create a host of mental problems such as over eating drugs alcohol depression and or migraine,. issues that rarely impact men.  

Therefore men, if you care about your partner, treat her first, and women if you care about yourself, insist you get treated first. Men, make certain her orgasm is real and not fake, and women the only person you hurt when you fake an orgasm, is yourself. Finally, men, learn the difference between real and fake. real has a loss of muscle control someplace on her body.

Finally men, we understand you are selfish by nature, but this is one time, when you can actually win by losing as a real orgasm is one of natures real pleasures to enjoy and she will thank you in ways you have yet to experience.

Why Female Orgasms

Matter

The Women’s Rights Movement helped women to make great and important strides in employment, equal pay for equal work and the self image of the importance of being female, a revolution which has not been lost on the next generation of young girls.

While the equal rights movement successfully began a revolution in the structural life of women, it ignored the emotional changes the structural change would make in the mental health of women. Many women concluded success in the work place required women to behave more like men in a complete reversal of woman’s traditional role in family life.

 Many women believed the equal rights movement inferred a sense of equality with men that nature never intended to occur, because the two sexes have completely different emotional and mental health needs. The emotional needs of women differ from those of men as does night differ from day.

The emotional difference can best be observed in the way each sex uses energy. Men tend to have strong bursts of energy, far in excess of the power of woman. Woman on the other hand has measured releases of energy that provide the energy to manage their family obligations each and every day. Men can not match womans sustained release of energy just as woman can not match mans burst of energy release.

The importance of hormone generated energy becomes important in the way such energy is dissipated during the course of each day. Man enjoys many outlets for the daily release of his excess energy. Women on the other hand while needing the identical energy release generally only have two options, exercise or sexual orgasm.

 The problem for women occurs because few have the time at the end of each day to exercise after work and family responsibilities. The female orgasm, natures built in excess energy release valve is stuck in the off position for any number of reasons ranging from male insensitivity demanding his satisfaction while ignoring hers, to her inability to overcome prior sexual abuse leaving her mind frozen in sexual neutral.

Absence of the release of pent up energy in women creates energy over load, a mind she cannot shut off, and a near constant search to find mental peace. The search for mental peace seeks any available source, generally beginning with food graduating to substance abuse before checking into emotional over load, and depression.

To end this spiral of emotional denial, women must take a proactive stance with their partners to give their emotional release equal attention and shun relationships which do not offer equal relationship opportunity. Exercise can work for many women but sex should be mandated to work for all, if equal right for women is to ever achieve its real promise.

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Female Sexual Freedom, Myth or Reality

Why Female Orgasms Matter

The women's liberation movement which began in the 90's challenged the world to give women parity with men in all areas of employment, wages, social status and self image. That revolution, while not perfect has made serious inroads into the world of male domination and control. However as in all revolutions, there are unintended consequences which persist today and which in many respects make what has evolved from the women's liberation movement, more of a problem than a solution.

Initially, women were confused with what exactly being liberated was intended to mean. Many concluded they were both equal to and therefore supposed to behave like men. That of course opened the door to unintended consequence when women tried to emulate men which resulted in some very unpleasant conclusions.  Today, most of those unintended consequences are in the rear view mirror as women settle into their workplace role as women being woman. While not yet perfect, the economic side of women’s liberation is now moving in the right direction.

Unfortunately however, the world of human sexuality was excluded from the women's liberation movement at a time, when the pressures on women in the work place, often in a hostile environment, needed the relief that only a fulfilling sexual relationship could bring. Women arrived at the door of women's liberation with minds subdued by abuse in all its many forms plus the indignity of rape, but those were the lucky ones. Countless others arrived wounded and hurt but thanks to PTSD, induced by sexual violence or abuse had no understanding of the anger that fueled their daily rage.

It is important to understand that an orgasm is totally a mind based function in both males and females. The way the mind releases energy differs in each sex which also impacts how each sex achieves orgasm. Male energy tends to be released in a burst and therefore the male orgasm tends to be rapid and quick. Female energy tends to be released in a steady flow which unlike the male orgasm builds to a point where conscious thought is lost and the mind is left to find its own way back to conscious thought . It is not hard to imagine, how frightening this experience can be, when experienced for the first time. How a woman has her first orgasm will generally define all orgasms which do or do not follow.

Women who have been abused in any way including rape or innocent childhood play can experience blocked nerve pathways from their body to their minds, thus inhibiting their ability to orgasm. Often these same women are defined as being frigid or nymphs. Frigid because their minds have been conditioned to associate sex with pain or nymph’s because sex is pure exercise and has no or limited brain control. A patient and loving partner can usually over time overcome the mental block. The exception to this would be the woman who experienced a physical structural issue due to growths or failure to lubricate.

Today, as in 1990, before the sexual revolution began, women continue to service the sexual requirements of both their male and female partners, without any sexual fulfillment of their own. Males conclude their orgasm, oral or otherwise, is as satisfying for his or her female partner as it was for the man. Rare is the woman who complains, and rare is the man who cares. Women are also their worst enemy, when they fake orgasms leading men to believe they have performed well. Consequently, few men have ever experienced a real orgasm

Women, who show no outward sign of their sexual preparedness find it easy to trick men into believing they had an orgasm when that is rarely the case, by mimicking the actions and sounds men have seen on porno flicks. Anal sex is now the rage but while there are more nerve stimuli in the rectal splinter muscle than the vagina, few women benefit because the male does not take the time to prepare and lubricate his partner.

Men and women process energy differently, men in a burst, women in measured doses often referred to as stamina. The female hormone makes energy available to women to allow them the ability to have children and raise a family. To the extent that energy is not used it remains stored in her mind, until if not released, it begins to find other outlets usually leading to emotional distress, evidenced by depression. The road to non clinical depression is paved with abuse of all kinds, followed by food, liquor and drugs. 

The female orgasm is understood by very few people, male or female, and is generally believed to be related to demanding physical sexual play. In reality, just the reverse is true. The female mind in its fearless state, can orgasm in and of itself, the word fearless being the wild card. With as many as 87% of all women reporting some form of sexual abuse, few abuse free minds remain. Therefore, it is imperative that women demand from their sexual partners whatever is reasonably required for them to achieve orgasm first, not after the male for if the reverse is true then he will have lost all interest

Any new relationship should begin with the understanding, women, before men, but that carries with it the need to help your partner understand your fear and why that fear exists. The male, who is willing to invest the time and effort to understand the emotional needs of his partner will be rewarded with a faithful partner for life. Any person, male or female who refuses to put the needs of their female partner before their own, does not despite what they may say, have your best interest at heart. 

Finally, it appears that the number of same sex relationships between women are on the rise, but the odds are that neither the teacher or the student has ever had an orgasm. That of course begs the question, how can her partner know the difference between acting and reality.

My suspicion is that, based upon how many nerve pathway are not restrained by fear, no two orgasms will ever be the same, but one visible sign is hard to miss and that is the loss of muscle control usually though the lower half of her body or squirting which may or may not be a sign of orgasm because of weakened muscles during child birth.

In addition, the orgasm might also be evidenced by a temporary blackout short loss of vision and or speech, mind based visions of fireworks or stars, inability to speak and uncontrollable tears to name a few. The power of the female orgasm mandates her partner comforts her, hold and continue to talk to her until the orgasm has passed. After the first orgasm is experienced, she will often find the experience frightening but no longer believe she is dying, yet it is and always will be critical that her partner, male or female, continue to comfort her until the moment has passed.

Finally, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) presents an entirely different challenge to her partner. While the woman may know, something is wrong, she will have no idea what is wrong or why. PTSD is a response to fear, of such a magnitude that the erotic mind simply shuts down and closes shop. This woman will never achieve orgasm until that block is removed. The degree of fear required to produce PTSD varies from girl to girl or woman to woman. Patience confidence and time can often remove the block, even in those cases where the trigger event is never remembered.

Man, king of the beasts and the hill is defined by selfishness, some by nature, some by ignorance where it comes to the needs of a woman. Therefore ladies, it is up to you to train your man how to love you and never to let him control that which he does not understand. Your mental well being is at stake, teach it, or lose it.

Female Orgasms Matter    ©

Free CounterWhy do Women Fear Being Woman

At conception, each embryo receives 32 chromosomes from each parent which jointly form her DNA which is the genetic design for who she is both physically and mentally. For most women, that is the singular moment they will ever be the woman they were born to be. From their earliest conscientious moment the minds of little girls are bombarded with someone telling them who they should be, what they should look like, that clothes to wear and why they are no likable or don't fit in with the in crowd..

The verbal and visual assault seems to come from all angles. If she is too smart, she is a show off, but if she is to pretty she is stuck up and on and on. All of this, is layered on top of the child abuse of choice from family friends or strangers, be it verbal, sexual or rape. As if that was not enough, now she is old enough to understand the rigid requirements of social and religious dogma, which is generally inconsistent with who she has been born to be. . The social and religious requirements which she is taught must be obeyed, are almost always not in sync with the birth DNA. A mind which finds itself adverse to social norms is a mind in search for a place to exist where her mind can find piece. For most, that rarely happens. 

Why you might ask, does this issue only impact women, and the answer is simple. Men made the rules on which the social and religious framework of society is constructed. One might ask, why would man create a society that dis empowers woman, and the answer again is simple. Man had then, nor does he now, understand how different are the minds of men and women. The differences can be found in the hormones which serve men and women including how each empowers the other.

Female hormones empower women with great stamina far in excess of that provided to men. Men on the other hand are physically stronger than women but will usually lose when it comes to who can last the longest. These different hormones play out in significantly different ways when it comes to how each sex thinks and feels. Women find erotic stimulation in almost every living thing, some just for admiration, others for erotic excitement. Men, in general, are not invested in such visual mind stimulation beyond an attractive woman.

The erotic dreams, visions, and thoughts of woman run afoul of social and religious dogma designed by men. From this conflict, between what she thinks and what she has been taught, arises the fear that somehow she is possessed by demons. Go into any church on Sunday morning and you will find the ratio of men to women to be greatly out of balance. Men who are in syncs with the rules they made are generally at peace with who they are, so they see no need to seek forgiveness to the extent women do.

Women in the 16th century who dared to exercise their right to mental freedom were branded as witches and burned at the stake. The lesson has not been lost on women over the centuries. Oddly enough, women who talk about everything to their friends, will rarely mention their erotic fantasies for fear they will expose themselves to be crazy. Therefore, they spend their lives in solitude always seeking something to dull the pain of a mind that does not fit. Most seek solitude in alcohol, drugs,or food until finding their way to depression and a course of drugs that dull the pain in their mind. 

Women need to empower themselves to find comfort in who they are because it is the unique difference between one woman to another that defines a sense of beauty that no camera can capture. The beauty of a woman is all about what you can not see, and its in the courage she exhibits to be who she was born to be, especially when her DNA  conflicts with who she has been taught to be. 

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Who Is the Best Lover, Men or Women

The answer to this question lies in understanding what is evidence of the best of sensuality and how can it be measured or observed. While both sexes are capable of similar erotic responses that is seldom the case. Lets examine each to determine the potential of both sexes. There are many misconceptions which impact male female relationships. 

Size is the most misunderstood part of human sexuality experience, for the simple reason that orgasms of both men and woman occur based upon sensual stimulation of the entire body and does not require penal insertion to achieve. Only the brain, can create total body stimulation sufficient to achieve orgasm. Therefore, Size of the male penis is not reverent to a woman sexual pleasure. 

In men fear of sex is rare, in a woman, its more often the rule than the exception as a consequence of one or more of the various kinds of abuse women suffer. The fear which arises from abuse, must be processed by her partner to her comfort zone. Words like frigid and nympho are code names for sexual abuse expressed through pain of sex or the inability to orgasm.

Finding a woman's comfort zone requires a commitment to want to eliminate her fear by establishing trust in her partner as her friend, and having her mind distinguish between the bad and the good guy. Once her comfort zone is achieved, her mind will be receptive to her partners erotic advances provided his movements are slow and deliberate  until it is clear, her mind is totally invested. 

In addition to abuse and rape, the mind of women is bombarded by fashion, childhood bullying, diet, body type, social norms and religion to constantly make her question who she is and if she is sane and frequently leads to depression. Oddly enough, an orgasm is the best medicine to reduce the impact of depression as an orgasm releases the stress and tension produced by excess and unused female hormone. This stress can also be impacted by regular aerobic exercise.

There are many women who are abuse survivors but have no memory of the abuse, only knowing something is wrong and that fear is always her orgasm. While she may never remember what happened, an understanding partner can often bring her emotional peace sufficient to achieve orgasm. 

All women experience sexual fantasies which vary only in type and intensity. These sexual fantasies to the extent they contravene social and religious norms weigh on the mind of all women. Women who discuss everything with their best friends seldom mention their fantasies thereby enforcing the idea that only she is impacted. Fear of fantasies must be a part of the comfort zone process is she is to achieve orgasm. Men on the other hand generally only have one fantasy.

There is one subject in which both men and women seem to agree which is breast size. Women look at the breasts of other women almost as much as does man. Man often chooses his sexual conquests based upon breast size first and  all else second. Women most often are influenced by smell first and thereafter fulfillment of a long standing mental image usually shaped by outside influences including fear, security and goals to name a few of the many. Women like men, seek their vision of their dream partner as they choose who they wish to get to know.

If man is successful in finding his ideal woman getting to know her to the extent of earning her trust, how then does he know, when the moment arrives that she is ready for sex. For her, knowing he is ready only requires her to look down, but how is man to know when she is ready. The answer lies in foreplay in whatever quantity and variety is required to ignite the erotic jets in her mind. There are many ways to determine this moment and all women are different so one size does not fit all. Notice may include any or all of the following, lubrication, increase in breathing, muscle movement, verbal suggestions to name a few. If the minds connect, the orgasms will come together or very close.

Recently, the world has discovered anal sex, and suddenly vaginal sex especially in the under 40 set appears to be running second place. What is interesting about anal sex is that despite the splinter muscle which controls the anal muscle being more sensitive than the vaginal muscles, few woman appear to enjoy anal because man as usual is in a hurry and plunges right in before her muscles get a chance to adjust which rather than creating pleasure, creates pain. So why do women put up with anal, simple, no risk of pregnancy.

So all things considered, the answer to the question is neither is better because man believes woman to be just like him ready at a moments notice and woman seek a partner, who understands what she needs without her having to tell why.