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Dominate vs Master
Many believe, these words are interchangeable but are they really one and the same. Best examine the definitions to see. The word Dominate means anyone who exercises or tries to exercise power over others for the purpose of control. A Master on the other hand refers to one who teaches and may or may not also be a dominate. Clearly, a submissive person, in search of control is in need of one with the power of control, but depending on the nature of the submissive person, they may require a dominate personality who may also be a Master, or who might simply be a dominate.
Absent the presence of a strong well grounded submissive mind, most submissive's need the the control and teaching that only a dominate master can provide. Finding a dominate, is relatively easy, finding a Master, is a bit more complicated. A dominate usually commands the mind to obey, while a Master commands the mind to yield to his intellectual power so the submissive can accept the dominate power of the Master without fear and in total trust.
In order to find success, the submissive must clearly understand the nature and extent of her core needs, especially as they are different from her wants. In D/S, wants have little relative value, while needs form the core of the lifestyle. It is the confusion between wants and needs that destroys so many potential d/s relationships as the slave tries to mesh her vanilla needs into a d/s world, which is a guarantee of failure. Remember too, that most who claim to be dominants do not understand the difference between wants and needs thereby creating a hybrid D/S relationship which will eventually fail.
By way of an example, women are programed from birth by society to associate physical characteristics with social acceptance and love to the almost complete disassociation of their personal needs. This is the essence of how Vanilla relationships work and why they fail because need is usually over run by want. D/S on the other hand is just the opposite, being need based and not want based for the simple reason that the only path top trust is through need satisfaction. Example, Susie wants a man who is tall dark and handsome, but needs a man who can understand, appreciate and contribute to who she is, without being told, because Susie is afraid to disclose her past for fear of rejection.
If Susie chooses what she wants, her relationship, be it vanilla or D/S is guaranteed to fail. However, if Susie chooses what she needs, then the relationship has a much greater probability of success. Any examination of D/S web sites will demonstrate most of the profiles are based on wants be they age restrictions, body times etc, essentially guaranteeing failure as if by design. Those who are open to accepting new ideas from different kinds of people will ultimately make a better choice, especially if their core need is based on intellectual liberation and passion
Remember, rare is the submissive who comes to this lifestyle absent personal drama, in many cases created as a direct result of their submissive mind suffering abuse by family or friends. Therefore, before that mind can be dominated, it must first find comfort in trust which leads to the abolition of fear. Once that occurs, the submissive mind can be controlled by either the Master of the dominate. Fear is the enemy of erotic submission, and only understanding the nature of that fear can trust ever flourish enough to complete the submissive's journey to total control.
