Why Do Some Women Fear Their Passion

Free Counter

Passion, as in all else, comes in many different forms and with varies levels of intensity, some so low as to be almost absent while others so strong, that they feel with intensity almost every thing both personal and even from strangers with whom they come in contact, yet never actually meet.

Women, whose's lives are defined by passion, tend to believe that they feel is what everyone else feels, but for whatever reason, they do not respond as they feel compelled to respond. They can see a story real or imaginary, and feel the same pain as the person in the story.

Simple things, others take for granted, such as a harmless touch on bare skin, or a kiss, ignite a fire storm of emotion that causes their erotic mind to send signals their erotic zones when that was never the intent of the touch or kiss.

To protect themselves from constant passion over loads, these women dress in a way so as to leave little exposed skin, shy away from being hugged kissed or touched as a way to manage their passions response to everyone in which they come in contact with.

This super sensitivity, becomes a much more serious issue when applied to a young girl or grown woman who has been the subject of sexual abuse, or rape. Given the super sensitivity of their skin, they are forced to respond to both abuse and rape as if they were the aggressor and not the victim. This response of course, leaves the victim, feeling guilty and wondering what was wrong with her, since she knows others who have faced this violence have not responded as they did, not knowing all the while, that the intensity of their response was a function of their passion and is therefore not comparable with anyone else.

Finally, consider the case of a your girl, possessed of super sensitivity, who on discovery, places a sex toy into her body with a resulting response, that effectively causes her to sexually abuse herself out of the fear of her erotic response that was expressed without fear, and was therefore complete and total. Most faced with that moment, never recover, because like all other things female, they believe, all women are just alike.

The intensity of this self induced reaction can resemble sexual abuse and trigger a traumatic memory event that will erase the event from memory until later in life when another event triggers the memory to return. During the period from the beginning to the end of the trauma, the woman is likely to be asexual from an unknown fear pending the return of her memory. once the memory is recovered, the sexual intensity of her passion will return

Free Counter

What Defines Woman

Is Fear My Master

For as long as I remember, sociologist, physiologist, and a host of studies, have defined women, not by the quality of their mind, nor the shape of their bodies, or the beauty of their faces, but solely, by the size of their breasts. Much of the success of breast definition, is based upon the males unnatural attraction to large breasted women to the exclusion of any other personal or character trait.

Earlier in this blog, we have discussed passion, and how passion interacts with the erotic female mind together with the role fear plays in the erotic female mind. We have also discussed, earlier the construction of a female orgasm, noting that it is, contrary to popular opinion, mind based, not body based, and as such is to a very large extent, controlled by all events precedent, which have to some extent, traumatized the erotic mind. It is also worthy of note, to point out that what creates erotic trauma, varies significantly from woman to woman.

We also discussed else where in this blog, The Concept of Normal, suggesting that unlike what women are taught, no two women are the same, each woman is born with so call dark thoughts, and that no woman, will discuss those dark thought, even with their best friends for fear of being labeled, abnormal. It is in this dark spot in the formative female mind, that fear finds a fertile breeding ground.

When asked in a recent study, women responded like the echo of mans mind, they were what their breasts said they were. If very large, they were sexy, if very small, they spent their life's being apologetic for this glaring defect in their character. I will grant, given the male preference for breasts, size, big or small, breast can be an attraction to gain attention from the person of her choice.

If, fact, have women short changed them selves by their concentration on this single part of their anatomy, failing to note if there something else, their attention needs to be called to address. In an erotic relationship, does the quality of the relationship depend on the size of her breasts, the sum of her parts, or to the freedom of her erotic mind and do each of the parts make equal contributions to her pleasure. I will submit, only the fearless erotic mind, holds the key to erotic completion

The pleasure of a woman, is not defined by any single or collective anatomical fact, rather a woman is defined by her ability to control or eliminate fear. Fear, is often the unseen, unknown Master, which remember what she forgot, and like a third partner in the bed restricts and limits the minds ability to release her passion.

Considering the number of women who suffer childhood sexual abuse, abandonment, verbal abuse, rape and physical abuse, the number who escape erotic fear, is frightfully small. Therefore, every time she goes to bed, it is always a three way love affair. She, her partner and her Master fear. Until she comes to know that fear lives within her, she will never enjoy the release of her passion. Until fear is set free, or effectively controlled, her passion is like a ship without a rudder, and each sexual experience is a mental often subconscious replay of her abuse.

Women deal with the consequences of fear in many different ways, some abuse themselves through pain, to dull the memory of the event, others are so effected that sex is for them, a painful process, even in the mist of raw erotic need, while others, the greater majority, appear to have a normal sex life, their partners never realizing, their orgasm's are without reality, simply the result of a fine acting job on the part of their partners.

Regardless of the basis of their fear, the cure for each is to recognize fear exists, and try to isolate the cause of the fear, but in any case to know, the cause of the fear, was not their fault. Since society teaches young girls, that abuse is their fault, it is imperative, to eliminate fear, to know that whatever happened, was simply not their fault. Masters and Johnson, in their early sexual surveys suggested only 15-25 percent of all women, ever achieve a total erotic release. I believe, the number is far less than the 15-25% identified in the Masters and Johnson survey

I have seen a number of examples where passion was so powerful, that the woman feared ever being touched, knowing that the right touch, at the wrong moment, could set off a chain reaction she could not control. In cases where both parents were equal principal abusers, it is interesting to note, in each case, the mother is always seen as the worst of the two parents, even in those cases where the father was by far the worst of the two parents. Fear that arises from parental abuse appears to have the longest lasting effects

Often, it is just as hard to identify the source of the fear as it is to eliminate it, but the end of fear, begins with the recognition that it lives, controls, and dominates her life. Over the course of many years, I have found the best way to identify the source of fear, is to write your life story, which will make you remember, many events long forgotten.

In those cases, where there is no memory until after a certain date, that often means the mind has suffered a traumatic stress, and shut down to protect the child. While it is helpful to remember why, it is not necessary to remember why, provided the woman clearly understands that whatever happened, was not her fault.

While the number of abused men is not significant compared to the number of abused women, men tend to respond in a different but similar way to the response seen in women. While women often experience pain, failure to lubricate, or exercise control of their erotic response such that it never goes to completion (fake orgasms), men on the other hand simply can not sexually respond, period, and are therefore, much more affected than many women appear to be.

When the fear is identified, and placed in its proper prospective, then and only then, is the woman free to exist and to have a normal erotic life. Kill the fear, give life to the woman

Free Counter

Dominate vs Master

Many believe, these words are interchangeable but are they really one and the same. Best examine the definitions to see. The word Dominate means anyone who exercises or tries to exercise power over others for the purpose of control. A Master on the other hand refers to one who teaches and may or may not also be a dominate. Clearly, a submissive person, in search of control is in need of one with the power of control, but depending on the nature of the submissive person, they may require a dominate personality who may also be a Master, or who might simply be a dominate.

Absent the presence of a strong well grounded submissive mind, most submissive's need the the control and teaching that only a dominate master can provide. Finding a dominate, is relatively easy, finding a Master, is a bit more complicated. A dominate usually commands the mind to obey, while a Master commands the mind to yield to his intellectual power so the submissive can accept the dominate power of the Master without fear and in total trust.

In order to find success, the submissive must clearly understand the nature and extent of her core needs, especially as they are different from her wants. In D/S, wants have little relative value, while needs form the core of the lifestyle. It is the confusion between wants and needs that destroys so many potential d/s relationships as the slave tries to mesh her vanilla needs into a d/s world, which is a guarantee of failure. Remember too, that most who claim to be dominants do not understand the difference between wants and needs thereby creating a hybrid D/S relationship which will eventually fail.

By way of an example, women are programed from birth by society to associate physical characteristics with social acceptance and love to the almost complete disassociation of their personal needs. This is the essence of how Vanilla relationships work and why they fail because need is usually over run by want. D/S on the other hand is just the opposite, being need based and not want based for the simple reason that the only path top trust is through need satisfaction. Example, Susie wants a man who is tall dark and handsome, but needs a man who can understand, appreciate and contribute to who she is, without being told, because Susie is afraid to disclose her past for fear of rejection.

If Susie chooses what she wants, her relationship, be it vanilla or D/S is guaranteed to fail. However, if Susie chooses what she needs, then the relationship has a much greater probability of success. Any examination of D/S web sites will demonstrate most of the profiles are based on wants be they age restrictions, body times etc, essentially guaranteeing failure as if by design. Those who are open to accepting new ideas from different kinds of people will ultimately make a better choice, especially if their core need is based on intellectual liberation and passion

Remember, rare is the submissive who comes to this lifestyle absent personal drama, in many cases created as a direct result of their submissive mind suffering abuse by family or friends. Therefore, before that mind can be dominated, it must first find comfort in trust which leads to the abolition of fear. Once that occurs, the submissive mind can be controlled by either the Master of the dominate. Fear is the enemy of erotic submission, and only understanding the nature of that fear can trust ever flourish enough to complete the submissive's journey to total control.