Domination & Submission, What does it really mean

Free Counter

Two central themes are at the heart of d/s, the first being the need for control and the second , the sense of belonging when one feels out of step with what is so called "Normal". After that, there are as many variations of d/s as grains of sand on the beach, so the essence of any prospective submissive person is to identify Masters whose interests match their real needs.

This Masters sense of d/s is intellectually based, and requires total mind control, a fierce desire to please others, and an unselfish commitment to giving, without expectation of return. However, for this to be successful, trust must first be established and all fear in the mind of the slave released. The degree of success of the master slave relationship are directly dependant upon the success of the trust/fear solution.

Desire and control tend to be relatively simple to achieve, however, unselfish giving proves to be the stumbling bock for many who are seeking a kind of love that requires that they be given too, in exchange for the giving.

The pure definition of real love, is the ability to give without expectation of return. That definition is valid for all life styles. However, selfishness, taught from the cradle to the grave is responsible for most unsuccessful relations. Selfishness, is a by product of absence of trust which is generally absent in vanilla but is supposed to be the corner stone of d/s. That however is rare in both vanilla and d/s, but those of us who are purest, always strive to get the very best and unselfish giving is as good as it gets.